Behold the Man

Behold the Man
June 28, 2021

I know it has been only two weeks since my last update, but I thought it would be good to share some overall thoughts from my expereince during June. 

Ecce homo, Behold the Man

This line comes from the Gospel of John, Chapter 19. It comes right after Pontius Pilate had Jesus scourged. He is then presented to the crowed covered in wounds, crowned with thorns, and draped in a purple cloak. He is at one of the lowest and weakest points of his earthly life. After a month of reflection, it only seemed fitting that our program was called Behold the Man. We were challenged to confront our own weaknesses in order that they be healed. Your wounds can be healed if you confront your weakness. Through the healing process, we are then able to help others through their pains. The past month has been one of deep prayer, personal reflection, and a chance for fraternity. 

As was mentioned in my previous post, part of our program was an 8 day silent retreat, which provided many opportunities for growing closer to God. When you spend time in the silence, you learn to listen and hear what God has to say. Most importantly God is in Control, and we are not God. After you spend that much time in silence, it is bittersweet to leave the silence. These past three weeks, I have been looking for more and more opportunities to spend a few minutes here and a few minutes there in silence. I have never craved silence like this in the past. It is definitely a learning process, trying to find times in the craziness to slow down and be quiet. Our lives are so hectic that finding time to slow down can seem daunting. So I recommend starting slow. Start with 2 minutes a day and slowly work up to a longer amount of time. Try it out! You might be surprised how easy it is. 

Something that goes right along with praying is personal reflection. During Behold the Man, we were given so many chances for reflection and discussion based on the things that were coming up in prayer.  What is the difference between our desires and our expectations? We might expect to always hear the voice of God in prayer, but what we actually desire is to spend time in loving communion with God. Which of our weaknesses need to be addressed before we can fully engage in future ministry? Personally, I need to continue letting God control my life and not "step in the way". I also want to get better at noticing the situations which cause me to self-isolate or ignore the community life of the seminary. There are many areas of my life that need work, but these are a few. What are the areas of your life that get in the way of your relationship with God? 

The final blessing of the past month was the fraternity that was built among the men in the program. There were people I started Pre-Theology with, men from Glennon College, and new men from other seminaries. Our group of roughly twenty men came together and meshed really well. We shared our experiences from retreat and from our lives; we got to know each other on a deep level; we prayed for each other daily; and we formed new friendships. It was a great joy to meet the new men and experience this program with them. 

As I look forward to next year, I am both excited and sad. The transition into Theology marks the end of the first phase of my seminary education. It has been a great two years and I have made many friends. I am excited for the studying of theology and for the new opportunities in ministry that will come up. In the midst of all this excitement, my heart is heavy. The members of my Jesu Caritas (fraternity) Group are all going different ways. Two of my brothers have stepped out of seminary to pursue other opportunities and the third is continuing his theology education at the NAC in Rome. These men have helped me grow so much the past two years that I will be forever grateful to them. Brother J, Brother L, and Brother R, my prayers go with you all!!

I hope you are all having a blessed summer!

Pax et bonum, 
Jake